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    23.给我一个静夜中的怀抱

     

     给怀

     

     

        季节总是变换的很快。不觉中已是八月的最后一天。天气还是很热。据说今天有28度.


        夜是多么的静。静的可以听到自己的呼吸。静的可以听到自己的心跳。这样的静似乎有点过了。一根针落在地上都会吓人一跳。长夜总是这般漫长。透过窗户,看到那轮不算太圆的月亮在天际孤独的挪动着。恩,这个世界目前还在运转着。它倒是很耐得住寂寞。永远都是那样自己飘来飘去。


        也许不回家会好些?可是刚才明明觉得心慌意乱坐立不安。坚持不下去了。也许是因为昨晚的失眠休息不够,只觉得身软腿虚。心慌意乱。脑子晕晕的,头重脚轻。身上的每一寸肉都蠢蠢欲动的样子。感觉很糟糕。又也许是因为那支香烟的作用。那种苦涩的的迷醉。已经是一种习惯性的依恋了。孤寂的落寞,形影的只单。此时此刻,却只有香烟是唯一的伙伴了。


        原以为住在家里会受到一些拘束。强迫自己不再独来独往。可是心已经野了。如果晚上也可以在家里上网的话应该能好一点。可是条件不允许。唉,早知道不回来好了。可是,一个人在外流浪的感觉也强不到哪儿去。


        这支圆珠笔芯的香气倒是很浓郁。现在的人可真是,为什么做笔都要把它做成香的!


        蹑手蹑脚。就像做贼一样。好在那个撕了一半的本子就在床边小柜的抽屉里,很容易得手。不禁感到一丝自喜。看来干这个行当偶还是比较有潜力滴说。看过霹雳舞没有?那叫个柔若无骨。直到溜进卫生间才大出了一口气,总算没有节外生枝。


        一转身,猛然看到了镜子里那张憔悴的面孔。雪白的瓷砖是一块块反光体。可是这夜太静了。静的吓人。倒把自己吓了一跳。


        我就那样仔细端详着她的眼睛,那眼睛里面是什么?是空洞,还是迷茫?是憔悴,还是颓废?呵,人生一世,草木一秋。难道就是这个样子的啊...


        其实我知道,我想要的也只是一种安全感,一个可以在静夜中能够依靠的怀抱.而已...

     

    花花于2005/08/31记

     

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